Cancer Sucks...

** warning some of these pictures are not for the faint of heart but the words are straight from the heart.

There are a few life changing moments in everyone's life.

Some of these moments happen when you least expect them.

Most happen during big life events.

As I got ready for my trip, I was pondering the possibilities 

(you can imagine what was going through my mind). 

I got the kids Valentine's ready for school because I wouldn't be here. 

I charted all their activities for Daddy.

I cleaned up the house as much and I could.

I got all the laundry caught up for Daddy.

I took extra pictures and video of my babies to take with me.

I talked to them all about my trip all week to get them ready for Daddy to take over.

I packed up my self (which was weird-I am not used to packing for one).

I tried to get myself mentally ready for what could happen.

Then I prayed:

"God Grant Me:

the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the Courage to change the things I can,

the Wisdom to know the difference.

Please give me strength, 

I need more time with my Dad, 

Please get him through this, Please get me through this."

Got new winter boots.

I knew I would be in NYC and had no idea what the weather conditions would be.

I didn't know if I would have to park and walk or take mass transit.

As usual NY did not disappoint with the Snow.

We stayed over the night before Dad's surgery.

With an early 6am wake up call.

Then we got Dad's Surgery ID number.

Pop's in Recovery.

For the first night after Dad's surgery Freida kept our room.

That room was such a releif to have.

That first night was a rough one for Dad,

it was really nice to be able to take shifts.

This was our view from one of our waiting rooms.

This is one of our small waiting rooms.

After Dad was moved to the step down recovery.

Freida and I went home to catch a nights sleep.

Richard and Trish took the second night and stayed in his room overnight.

I dropped Freida off and headed to NJ (Jenn's house in Emerson is only 13 miles from the hospital).

I don't normally do selfies but the kids wanted to see Momma and the snow.

One day out and talking to Freida.

Pop's wanted to see what his wounds looked like.

I was taking pictures for him to see himself.

Just in case your wondering.

I got full permission to share my Dad's journey.

We had a lot of quality time together over two weeks.

This is my office/bed for the week.

I was able to go back to Jenn's most nights.

If he had a bad day I would stay over.

He hated his nebulizer treatment.

I don't blame him, it was annoying.

But Pop's did whatever he had to so he could heal faster.

They were in constantly to check on his drainage lines.

He had several; one in his nose, one in his neck, one on his left side, two on his right side and a feeding port in his belly.

They were all attached to boxes on the sides of the bed.

Which every Doctor and Nurse that came in checked.

He got a lot of phone calls.

Most of which he couldn't take.

He could only do a few minutes.

Those few minutes were reserved for Freida.

Freida worked this week since I was there.

This made it easier so she could take off and be home with him when he got out of the hospital.

We were a great tag team.

 It really meant a lot that she felt she could trust me to be there and give her updates everyday.

Finally our first tube.

The most annoying of them all.

The one in the nose.

A close up of his neck drainage tube.

PT everyday.

By day 4 we were loading up the cart with his boxes and walking the halls.

That was huge in his recovery and not easy.

I told him he will have to come up with a cool cop story on how he got all the new hole scars.

I may have said that while he was on the morphine drip because he thought that was pretty funny.

Warning these are pretty graphic

It was amazing how huge the tubes were.

I can't even imagine how painful these were.

This was from his epidural during surgery and where his morphine drip was.

I can honestly say I sympathize with that pain having three of them myself for each birth.

The epidural is no fun.

Sending the kids pictures from Jenn's house.

Getting extra Keira hugs because I missed my babies.

Of course Keira was too happy to give extra hugs.

Between drainage checks, PT and being so exhausted and sleepy he was able to get out a few texts. 

Again NJ/NYC didn't let me down, I got plenty of snow.

Just chilling at the Deckers

Yup it was really, really cold.

-16 when I went in to the City.

Freida came up on Sat afternoon and I was able to sneak away.

I got to visit my sister and her family.

My nieces are so much fun.

I spent the day in NJ with them playing games and watching Corinne play softball.

Kaitlyn is too good at this game and totally beat Aunt Jenn.

They were even giving me more clues because they felt bad for me.

I got to skype with my Zoo.

Most of the time because they move so fast, they were a blur or I was looking up their noses.

Very cold.

Very, Very Cold.

Even the hospital was cold.

They had a heating problem one of the days and it was so cold.

I wrapped Pop's up in a blanket.

The last few days they finally pulled the big tubes out.

The Doctor was really surprised that I wanted a picture of them but she doesn't know me.

Finally our last day and they let him eat.

Our first meal.

What I know for sure...

Cancer still sucks!

My Dad kicked Cancer's A$$!

I was lucky enough to be in a position to be able to take care of him and get him home.

Freida has the hard part of taking care of him now at home.
I also learned that Freida and I are a lot alike too.
We both carry Lysol and Clorox wipes with us everywhere.
We got to spend quality time together as well.

The Chemo sucked and the Radiation almost killed him but

he was determined to see his grand kids grow. 

He still has a long way to go in his recovery.

He still has a lot of life changes in front of him.

I am so proud of him and how far he has come.

It still brings tears to my eye's as it did while he was in recovery 

and the Doctor said the words "cancer free and we got it all".

I don't have words to describe the overwhelming emotion that comes over you when you hear

"Cancer Free".

It's been years since I spent two whole weeks with my Dad alone.

We learned a lot about each other.

We had a lot of deep talks.

I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything.

 I learned we are a lot alike in many ways.

I learned that we need to spend more time together in the future.

Now that God graced us with a future we are going to do just that.

Big shout out to Daddy for keeping the Zoo alive.

He did an amazing job.

He dealt with vomit, snow days, lots of snot and doing the girls hair.

BUT he did it so wonderfully.

He did such a wonderful job I may just have to plan more trips alone. 

(shhhhh don't tell Daddy that, he's not ready to hear that yet - it's too soon)

I know how much my Dad really appreciated me taking care of him.  

He sends me a short text everyday. 

Just to say "Hello", to see what we are up to for the day or just to say "I miss you kiddo".

Sometimes it takes something life changing to make a difference. 

We didn't know the gift we were going to get by spending two weeks together.

I am by no means thankful for the Cancer but I am humbled by the experience.

I am thankful my Dad was strong enough to fight it with all he had.

I am thankful I got to take care of him.

I am thankful for all the memories we are going to be able to make.

We need to appreciate the time we have with the people we love.

We need to let go of the small stuff and live our best life.

I Love You Dad!

"Cause I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

And I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you

And I won't let go

Won't let you go

No I won't"

                                          ~Rascal Flatt's

Serenity ~ Courage ~ Wisdom